For a long time, I didn’t know there was a word or label that described the life I was living as a child. All I knew was that in my family, nothing was permanent. Every couple of years, I’d find myself falling asleep surrounded by boxes, with ‘we’ll miss you’ cards tightly packed away, staring at the ceiling in the dark, thinking about everyone and everything I was leaving behind.
By the time I was 16, I had lived in 11 countries across 3 continents. This may seem shocking to some—an unimaginable amount of upheaval, paired with the privilege of having travelled so much of the world. However, for Adult Third Culture Kids (ATCKs), this narrative is a familiar one.
Like many TCKs, I moved to my passport country (the UK) as a young adult for higher education—a place that, while I had visited regularly and lived in briefly as a child, I knew very little about in terms of daily life without my parents. I became a 19-year-old who spoke perfect, accented, English, and was unable to read a bus timetable—a skill most local children had mastered by the age of 12.
While I can happily say I have now successfully overcome many of those practical obstacles, since then, I have been fascinated by how other Adult Third Culture Kids (ATCKs) experience the world and navigate their mental health. During my counselling training, I dedicated my primary research dissertation to understanding the emotional aspects of the repatriation process and later presented my findings at an international conference.
In this blog, I want to explore the mental health challenges that ATCKs often face, especially during repatriation and adulthood.
Authors and TCK researchers Pollock and Van Reken (2009) define a Third Culture Kid (TCK) as:
"An individual who, having spent a significant part of their developmental years in a culture other than their parents’ culture, develops a sense of relationship to all of the cultures while not having full ownership in any. Elements from each culture are incorporated into the life experience, but the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of similar experience."`
This widely accepted definition fits within the Cross-Cultural Framework. However, unlike other cross-cultural models—such as intercountry adoptees, mixed-race children, or children of immigrants—the "third culture" of a TCK is considered a transitory experience rather than a permanent one.
The 'Third Culture' is defined by its temporary, highly mobile nature and is shaped by those living within it. TCKs typically relocate frequently due to their parents' professions, such as missionary work, military service, diplomacy, or engineering. Many attend international schools rather than local ones, forming close bonds with other TCKs who share the experience of constant transition. Even if a TCK spends the majority of their childhood in a single host country, the ever-changing social circle reinforces the sense of living in a "middle" culture—a culture that exists between cultures.
This phenomenon is not static; as global mobility increases, so too does the population of TCKs. In 2019, the United Nations estimated that the number of international migrants worldwide had reached 272 million, or 3.5% of the global population. While this statistic doesn’t differentiate between permanent migrants and those planning to return to their home countries, it highlights the reality of a highly mobile world. In countries like Australia, it's estimated that around 1 million people live and work overseas at any given time, contributing to the expanding population of TCKs and the unique challenges they face.
Another unique element of the third culture experience is the process of repatriation—returning to one’s passport country, often for education or work opportunities. This transition usually occurs while their parents remain stationed overseas. Repatriation can be one of the most tumultuous periods in an ATCK's life, as reflected in various studies:
Repatriation is often a long process:
Purnell and Hoburn (2012) found in their study that the "Stabilisation Stage" for Australian ATCKs returning to Australia took a minimum of two years after repatriation. Source
Some ATCKs may never fully assimilate:
Fail, Thompson, and Walker (2004) reported that some participants felt like outsiders in their passport country even 20 to 50 years after repatriation. Source
Settling down can trigger feelings of unrest:
Bushong (2013), a US-based therapist specialising in globally mobile clients, found that many ATCKs seek therapy in their 30s, often during the period when they’re settling down. At this time, they may experience significant feelings of unsettlement, a stark contrast to their peers.
My own research highlights that university-aged ATCKs often struggle significantly during repatriation. This transition can be jarring, as ATCKs may look and sound as though they belong, but feel entirely out of place due to limited understanding of local customs, social norms, or cultural references. ATCK’s may have also built up a picture of what finally ‘going home’ might be like which is different to day-to-day realities. This experience of ‘reverse culture shock’ can be very difficult to cope with, as there are limited tailored resources available and it is a very specific experience.
As Bushong found, even after the initial stages of repatriation, many ATCKs feel distant from others, either having not fully assimilated into their passport country or feeling out of sync as they watch their peers settle down, all while being unsure of why they feel different, especially if other aspects of their lives are going ‘well’.
Growing up as a Third Culture Kid (TCK) is filled with contrasts. It’s widely recognised that being raised among different cultures fosters valuable skills such as cultural sensitivity, multilingualism, and a global outlook. However, for many TCKs, this upbringing also brings challenges, such as difficulties in developing a sense of home, identity, and attachment.
Below are some of the mental health challenges that ATCKs (Adult Third Culture Kids) may face. It’s important to note that each ATCK's experience is unique.
ATCKs often grapple with identity confusion, as they don't neatly fit into a single cultural category. In a world that still often demands clear labels, this can create conflict and anxiety, leading to a fragmented sense of self.
Additionally, the TCK model is defined by the experience of living in a "third culture." When that experience is no longer a part of an ATCK’s life, they may struggle to restructure their identity, especially if ‘being a foreigner’ or ‘always moving’ was a core part of who they were.
Frequent relocations often mean saying goodbye to places, friends, and routines, leading to repeated experiences of loss. Over time, this can accumulate into unresolved grief, which may resurface as anxiety, depression, or difficulty in forming healthy attachments in adult relationships.
As ATCKs grow older and settle in their passport country, they may also feel deep grief for the life they once lived.
For many ATCKs, repatriation coincides with their first experience of living away from home, such as attending university. Unlike their peers, who might have family support nearby, ATCKs often have parents stationed overseas. The physical and emotional distance from their primary support system can be challenging, especially since this may be the first time in their lives they’re not surrounded by others with similar experiences. This can lead to feelings of isolation and a tendency to withdraw socially.
ATCKs may struggle with maintaining deep, lasting friendships and relationships due to a history of transient connections. This can foster a fear of intimacy or reluctance to fully invest in relationships, as they may expect them to be temporary.
Pollock and Van Reken (2009) theorised that ATCKs often form friendships and relationships intensely and quickly due to the pattern of limited time with peers growing up. This intensity can cause difficulty or feelings of rejection if others don’t reciprocate the same level of enthusiasm.
The constant state of flux in a TCK’s upbringing can lead to chronic restlessness, making it difficult for ATCKs to commit to long-term plans, jobs, or living situations. They may crave change or feel unsettled when life becomes too routine, which can conflict with the demands of stable employment or financial stability.
Repatriation often involves a significant adjustment period that can trigger anxiety and stress. Culture shock and confusion are common during this time, and the fear of not fitting in or being misunderstood can exacerbate social anxiety and lead to isolation, and withdrawal. I have previously written about culture shock and how to cope with it, here.
While being an ATCK is a lifelong journey and your relationship with your upbringing is always evolving, here are a few suggestions to help navigate mental health challenges:
Seek out other TCKs online or connect with individuals from international or cross-cultural backgrounds. Finding people who are also experiencing culture shock or who have an "outside" perspective can provide comfort and validation. This sense of belonging can help you feel more grounded in your experiences.
Instead of viewing your diverse cultural background as a burden, see it as a unique strength and a valuable part of your identity. Engage in creative outlets, such as journaling or storytelling, to help appreciate the richness of your experiences. It’s okay to be different! You can read more about embracing cross-cultural identity in my blog here.
Therapy provides a valuable opportunity to explore persistent feelings of anxiety, depression, or restlessness in a safe, non-judgmental environment. A therapist can help you examine how your unique upbringing has shaped your identity and emotional landscape. In my practice, I take a relational approach, where you are the expert of your own story. Together, we will gently explore your emotions, past experiences, and future goals, allowing you to gain deeper insight and clarity.
Navigating life as an Adult Third Culture Kid can be complex, but it also offers unique strengths and perspectives. Understanding the mental health challenges ATCKs may face is the first step in addressing them. By seeking supportive counselling or psychotherapy, ATCKs can work toward embracing their multifaceted identities, processing past losses, and building a grounded sense of self.
Remember, it’s okay if you don’t fit neatly into one culture or place—your diverse background is a valuable part of who you are.
